Hi there.  My name is Fran and I’m a 44 year old woman living in Sydney, Australia.  I have been learning in the Jewish system since 1999, first at the Adelaide Hebrew Congregation then predominantly at Central Synagogue, Sydney.  I am Anglican-born, was taught Christianity in school and have studied parts of Christian theology, ‘New Age’ doctrines and Traditional Chinese Medicine since.  Until my 35th birthday, I had never contemplated Judaism or Jewish teachings; now, I can’t get enough of it.

Oddly enough, I never came to Jewish spirituality seeking religion, faith or G-d.  I came with a desire for information, guidance and logic; a point of reference that would help me better comprehend how life worked in my world.  I’m energetically sensitive you see.  Since childhood, I have always picked up the thoughts, moods and emotions of those around me, without even trying.  I see clairvoyantly and hear clairaudiently, but it is the silent, feeling sense which is strongest in me.  I don’t write this to distract your focus away from the topic.  I write it because I believe that it makes what I am saying below even more relevant for those who seek a system that explains spirituality and energetic phenomena, from physical through to esoteric levels, in a way that enhances their ability to function in the ‘normal’ world.

For my first 30 years, I had no idea that I was energetically sensitive and it was not until a series of incidents in the corporate world that I started to require information and help.  Since childhood, the minute I am asked to help a person, something just takes over in a way that often blinds me to the realities of human nature.  It keeps me focused on the target of genuine helping, which is great, but in my earlier years found me continually landing into trouble with people who didn’t really want that sort of help, for themselves or others.  I could ‘hear’ the things people were holding back and/or projecting, even when they were being denied.  I came unstuck big time.  So, at 30, my spiritual development began.  I had to make sense of life as it was for me, in a way that helped me keep grounded and centred in the physical world.  I had this extra layer of activity, a skill quite possibly, that I didn’t understand but needed to make sense of.

My learning commenced with creative visualisation classes and spiritual healing sessions, which helped me become more aware, look at the models of life that I had embraced, and better understand my internal and external worlds.  I then moved on to a spiritual development program sponsored by the Spiritualist network in Sydney, where I learned how to connect, clear energetically and open up to white light; how to use my intuitive skills to live more honestly and problem-solve; what to reference to energetically.  After a few years however, I needed to go further - where to I didn’t know. 

Whilst my early training helped me greatly on the practical level, I had yet to find the explanation for how and why things happened in my world.  Not that information was lacking but what I sought was a system that drove from divine will, true balance and integrity (not that I was at that place myself).  The use of energy does not have to come from a place where ME is king and nothing else matters.  Energy work, no matter how strong, can actually be very limited when it does.

I was in Adyar bookshop in Sydney one day and came across Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan’s book, Sefer Yetzirah: The Book of Creation in Theory and Practice .  I doubt whether I understood a tenth of it even though I read all the words.  This did not matter; every cell in my being knew that I had found the system for me and that I needed to access more of this form of teaching – the Jewish Kabbalah.  My search for the right Kabbalistic group took me to non-Jewish groups and Jewish lay-groups.  I didn’t think to call a synagogue (Shul) at first, somehow thinking that I had to find my education in the gentile world.  No matter where I turned however, I had yet to find the right forum.  

Finally!  Going to the Weekly Shiur
In 1999, I finally realised that I may have more success at a synagogue.  I rang the Adelaide Hebrew Congregation and was advised that there was a class which I was welcome to try.  That first class (shiur) was incredible.  Rabbi Yosef Engel, AHC’s Senior Rabbi at the time, spoke with such passion and awareness, about the literal passages as well as the more esoteric levels.  By the time the class finished, I knew I had found what I was looking for.

A weekly shiur that discusses Kabbalah is a really exciting class to attend.  Perhaps, for a non-Jew, it is even more amazing, simply because not all systems of theology or spirituality discuss esoteric levels well, if at all.  Without a discussion of that which lies behind the text, faith and religion can seem lifeless, even dull.  This is not to denigrate any religion in any way but, for one who experiences energy on a daily basis, many non-Jewish systems do not offer much guidance or help.  When Rabbi Wolff (Central Synagogue) talks Kabbalah, the room changes; all is silence even though there is still talking; the energy shifts and the atoms start to dance in ways they weren’t before - something more is with us, reverberating through the room and magnifying the teachings.  In my words (ie, not necessarily technically correct) the soul level takes over.  In a world where more and more people experience energy on a daily basis, Judaism offers a wealth of explanation, structure, guidance and support - all the things that are necessary for positive living, grounded spirituality and the ability to function well in this material world.  
Rabbinically-led shiurs are also mind-blowing in that they introduce you to a much deeper definition of G-d (Hashem).  For me, this led to a significant overhaul.  Where non-Jewish systems can portray G-d as being strict, stern and distant - just Gevurah in Kabbalistic speak - Judaism presents Him as pure benevolence and multi-faceted, even in the harsher moments.  Through exposure to the Jewish spirituality, I have come to understand that G-d is real, that He is right here and that He will help in all things - even if I have yet to be as good as I can be.  This has resulted in fundamental changes in my spiritual practice and my understanding of Judaism, let alone Christianity.

Another aspect of Judaism so often experienced in the shiur is the emphasis upon family, benevolence and kindness, not only in theory but also in very real, practical terms.  This, from my non-Jewish perspective, is very interesting given that other doctrines often paint Judaism as stern, cold or cruel when it is nothing of the sort.  Indeed, Judaism is the spiritual parent I believe that most of us long for, from whom the non-Jewish world could benefit enormously.  Where other spiritual groups and teachers seem to reserve their kindness for particular people, times or moments, Judaism gives it as a genuine and continual offering not only on the verbal level but also in deed and thought.

Kabbalat Shabbat
Having attended the weekly shiur for about 18 months, I reached a point where I wanted to attend a service, to acknowledge and give thanks to Hashem, G-d, for all that He is and does.  Rabbi Wolff suggested that the Friday night, Sabbath eve service (Kabbalat Shabbat) may be a good next step, so off I headed.  For anyone who loves G-d, the service in itself is awe-inspiring: a moment when you can offer praise, devotion and thanks to the Creator using psalms and prayers that are beautifully rhythmic and heart-stirring.  From a spiritual or energetic perspective, Kabbalat Shabbat is the moment when the congregation ask Hashem to remember and unite with them once more, in time for Shabbat (the day of rest as G-d commanded).  It is the beginning of 24 hours of spiritual focus, practice and development, remembering What is most important and Who to focus on.  You can feel the energy shift as He responds to the call.  Central Synagogue has a Chazan and choir who lead the congregation through the service in song.  For anyone who enjoys singing, even opera, attending the Kabbalat Shabbat service at Central Synagogue is an incredible experience, not that this is the only reason to go.
When I first started attending Kabbalat Shabbat, the next few days would be framed in peace and a sense of connection with something greater than self - a very loud quietness.  It was a noticeable energetic shift that I had not experienced before.  Sure, I had connected through meditation and other techniques (and still do), but the energy that comes as a result of Kabbalat Shabbat attendance is altogether another level.  I am not suggesting that this is the only reason why one should attend the service but it is an interesting aside for those who are energetically sensitive.  Although one may enter into Jewish spirituality for more self-focused reasons, the more s/he moves into its practices and teachings, the more this presence can be felt.

So, Why Not Convert?
It would seem to me that the above constitute some very good reasons why I should convert to Judaism as soon as possible!  For now, however, I remain a gentile who wishes, please G-d, to continue her spiritual development within the Jewish system for a number of reasons listed below. 

Judaism is a life of commitment to Hashem in ways that often ask you to do something ‘just’ because G-d asks the congregation to do so (there is always a sound reason for it though).  The depth of commitment to G-d in Judaism and its impact upon one’s lifestyle, in my opinion, is far greater than that experienced by many gentiles in their systems of observance.  Put simply, I am not confident yet that I could deliver to that level and I would rather stay gentile than make a promise that I did not uphold.

My energetic sensitivity is another factor, as it is very easy for me to label the feelings of others as my own.  I have needed to progress slowly to check the feelings I have for Judaism, my relationship to it and G-d.  To convert because of my affiliation to (or appreciation towards) a person and/or because it makes me feel good is not, in my opinion, a good enough reason and certainly not the same thing as being ready to commit in a Jewish way to serving G-d.  Until I am sure that I am converting for the right reasons, I remain a gentile.

Some say there is also a strong case for gentiles staying gentiles.  On the occasion when I “Asked A Rabbi”  about conversion, it was put to me that I may be better to stay in the system I was born in to and to serve the world (including Judaism) in that capacity.  As a gentile exponent of all that Judaism can offer the world, I may perhaps be of more value.  Time will tell!

A last factor is whether Judaism would have me!  Whilst Judaism does accept converts, the process is not as easy as the prospect declaring his/her desire.  There is study to do, things to learn before one is eligible.  As a student who knows a few things but still not a whole lot, I have more study to do before I can even assess conversion as an option.

Noahidism - Monotheism for Gentiles who would Benefit from Jewish Teachings
As a gentile raised in a Christian tradition, my studies and experiences of Judaism have shown me one thing - that the non-Jewish world, no matter the denomination, could learn much from its spiritual parent.  At a time where so many seem to be seeking a system of spirituality that makes sense to them, Jewish teachings are (in the least) a very great guide.  For a non-Jew, this can be done in two ways – by studying the Jewish teachings in totality or by focussing on the seven Noahide laws (ie, the commandments that G-d gave exclusively to the non-Jewish world).

The Seven Noahide Laws are:
1.    Belief in G-d, implicit in which is the command to not worship idols
2.    To respect G-d and praise Him, implicit in which is the command to not blaspheme using His Name
3.    To respect human life, including the command to not commit murder
4.    To respect the family and not commit immoral sexual acts
5.    To respect others’ rights and property, including the command to not steal
6.    The creation of a judicial system and the pursuit of justice
7.    To respect all of G-d’s creatures, implicit in which is the command to not be cruel to animals

There are plenty of non-Jews who have fully adopted monotheism (ie, who believe that there is one G-d and one G-d only) as taught by the Torah and all the laws that are relevant to them [many of the ordinances in the Torah apply only to the Jewish people]. Judaism calls these people righteous gentiles or Noahides.

For many reasons, Judaism offers the non-Jewish world so much more than many gentiles seem to be  aware of.  If you are interested in spiritual development, finding a monotheistic forum as a gentile or just coming to a life of better balance, Jewish spirituality is a fascinating and very rich area to explore.